HOW TO DATE A WOMAN

All of these issues come down to one thing: you don't have any "game" going for yourself. You're trying to "shotgun" your approach rather than use a direct, specific plan. Scattered/fractured plans are never a good idea. Here's a better one:
First, don't focus on this one girl. Yes, I know you are claiming that you're not, but the fact is - you are. Go out and find at least 2 or 3 other women and start dating them. These don't have to be expensive dates, and in fact, if you do this right, they will pay for much of them for you! They don't have to be 10's or even marrying material either. You're just trying to build your dating skills. Of course, once you get to know a woman she may actually climb that ladder on her own; going from a 6 to a 7 or higher!
Second, ignore that boyfriend remark from girl #1. Just invite her out for coffee or a drink "to get to know her better". It's very simple, non-threatening, and if she accepts, you're in. If not, you're working on 2-3 other women anyway! NEXT!
Third, (this probably should have been first), get a real game plan together. Decide what your long-term goals are, but not who's going to fill them. Once you get your plan together, work on your skills. There are is a ton of great information out there, (Dating-Insider and my book and website are probably the best), so get started on your education.