WHAT IS SEX EDUCATION AND WHO SHOULD GIVE IT?

What Is Sex Education And Who Should Give It?
Is sex education about knowing the anatomy and physiology of human body, or about the act of sex, or about reproduction and family life, or about prevention of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy? Is giving sex education equal to giving permission of engaging in sex? One sex educator at my son's school told the parents "I am not planning to tell your children whether or not they should not engage in sex, or how to do it but in case they decide to do it they should know how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy". At present the sex education is incomplete as it does not cover the morality associated with sex, sexual dysfunctions and deviations and the institution of marriage.One of the basic questions is , do children need sex education? Do you teach a duck how to swim or just put it in water and let it swim. After all, for thousands of years men and women are having sex without any formal education. In may traditional civilizations, sex education starts after the marriage with trial and error. Some couples learn it faster than others and do it better than others, due to difference in sexual perception and expression of one partner. In my opinion having dozen children is not necessarily a proof of love. An appropriate and healthy sex education is crucial to the fulfillment of a happy marriage.With regards to the questions who should impart sex education, I believe everyone has to play his or her role. The parent as a whole have to assume a more responsible role; especially the father has a duty to be able to answer his son's questions and the mother to her daughter's. We can hardly influence the sex education at school or by the media which I call "VD- AIDS And Teenage Pregnancy Education", but we can supplement that with some ethical and moral dimension and add family love and responsibility. Apart from these sources, some role can be played by Sunday school teachers, the family physician, the pediatrician and the clergy. Within a family the elder sister has a duty towards the younger one and the elder brother has for the younger one.
Sex Education In American SchoolsIn every American school,
public or private, sex education is being given from grade 2 to 12. The projected 1990 cost to the nation will be $2 Billion per year. Teachers are told to give the technical aspects of sex education without telling the students about moral values or how to make the right decisions. After describing the male and female anatomy, and reproduction, the main emphasis is on the prevention of venereal diseases and teenage pregnancy. With the rise of AIDS, the focus is on "Safe Sex" which means having condoms available each time you decide to have sex with someone you don't know. With the help of our tax dollars, about 76 schools in the country have started dispensing free condoms and contraceptives to those who go to school health clinics. Very soon, I can foresee there will be vending machine in the school hallways and "children" could get one condom each time they need to engage in sex. The role of parents is minimized by American sex educators and sometimes ridiculed. In one of the sex education movies I was made to watch as a parent at my son's school "Am I Normal?", the young boy whenever he asks a question about sex to his father, the father (is shown as a bum and a slob) shuns him away and diverts the topic. Finally the boy learns it from a stranger, and then is shown going into a movie theater with his girlfriend.The secular sex education devoid of morality promoted by educators like Dr. Sol Gordon is in many ways unacceptable to our value system. The examples of Dr. Gordon's beliefs are:a. Nudity in homes (in shower or bedroom) is good and a healthy way to introduce sexuality to smaller (under 5) children, giving them opportunity to ask questions. In the same book he also states that 75% of all child molestations and incests (500,000 per year) occur by a close relative (parent, step parent or another family member) in a familiar surrounding.b. A child's playing with genitals of another child is a "naive exploration", is permissible and not a reason for scolding or punishment. He is also aware that boys as young as 12 have raped girls as young as 8. He does not tell us when this "naive exploration" becomes a sex act.c. "Children caught reading 'dirty' magazines should not be made to feel quilty, but parents should use it as a chance to get some useful points across him or her about sexual attitudes, values and sex exploitation." Like charity, pornography, should start at home !!d. " If your daughter or son is already sexually active, instead of telling them to stop it, the parents moral duty is to protect their health and career by providing them information and means for contraception and avoiding VD". Educators like Dr. Gordon do not believe that giving sexual information means giving the go ahead signal for sex. I just wonder as to why some folks after being, told the shape, color, smell and taste of a new fruit, and pleasure derived form eating it, would not like to try it? These educators say that even if your child does not ask any questions about sex, parents should initiate the discussion using i.e. a neighbor's pregnancy, a pet's behavior, advertisements, popular music or a TV show. I wonder why these educators are obsessed with loading children with sexual information whether they want it or not.
The More They Know It - The More They Do It.
The sex education in American schools has not helped decrease in the teenager the incidence of VD or teenage pregnancy. This is because it has not changed their sex habits. According to Marion Wright Elderman President of Childrens Defense Fund in a recent report, "out of every 20 teens, 10 are sexually active but only 4 use contraception, 2 get pregnant and one gives birth. In 1982, John Hokins study found one out of every five 15 year olds, and three 16 year olds are sexually active . The incidence increased to 43% in 17 year olds, 46% of 16 year olds, 29% of 15 year olds were sexually active . Now it is estimated that about 80% girls entering college had sexual intercourse at least once. Going to church does not help either. Some 1400 teenagers, mostly white, attending conservative Evangelical Church were sent questions about their sex life. 26% of 16 year olds, 35% of 17 year olds, and 43% of 18 year olds said they had sexual intercourse at least once. 33% that responded also said sex outside of marriage was morally acceptable.
Hazards of Early SexThe health hazards of early sex include sexual trauma,
increase in incidence of cervical cancer, sexually transmitted diseases and teenage pregnancy.A variety of injuries are possible and do happen when sex organs are not ready for sex in terms of full maturation. Some of these injuries have a long lasting effect." Cervical cancer has been thought to be related to sex at an early age and with multiple partners. Dr. Nelson and his associates in his article of epidemiology of cervical cancer calls it a sexual transmitted disease."
Teenage PregnancyAbout one million or more teenage girls become pregnant every year,
80% of them are unmarried. Out of this I million, about 500,000 decide to keep their baby, and 450,000 are aborted (or ? murdered), 100,000 decide to deliver and give the baby for adoption. In 1950 the incidence of birth from unmarried teenagers was only 13.98%, but in 1985 it increased to 59%. It is a myth that teenage pregnancy is a problem of black and poor. To the contrary 2 out of 3 teens getting pregnant now are white, suburban and above the poverty income level. The pregnancy rate (without marriage) in 54,000 listed Navy women is 40% compared to 17% to general population. What is the life of those who have teenage pregnancy? Only 50% complete high school, more than 50% of them are on welfare. They themselves become child abusers, and their children when grown up have 82% incidence of teenage pregnancy. 8.6 billion dollars are spent every year for the financial support and health care of teenage mothers.The sexual revolution of 60's has affected another dimension of health care. In 1985 alone , 10 million cases of chlamydia, 2 million gonorrhea, 1 million venereal warts, 0.5 million genital herpes and 90,000 syphilis cases were diagnosed." The plague of AIDS" is adding a new twist to our fears. About 52,000 cases have been diagnosed in the USA alone and 50% of them have already died. The disease is growing at a rate of one case every 14 minutes," and so far there is no good treatment. Father Bruce Ritter of New York, who operates shelters for runaway children, says the biggest threat to the Nation's 1 million runaway is the threat of AIDS now.There are many reasons children get involved in sex". Most common being the peer pressure. Their common response is "since everybody is doing it". One of the reasons is their desire for sexual competence with adults and a way to get ahead. Another common reason is their lack of self esteem which they want to acquire and improve by becoming a father or mother. Sometimes it is due to lack of other alternatives to divert their sexual energies. It could also be due to lack of love and appreciation at home. Detacthment from home can lead to attachment elsewhere. The sexual pressure on them is everywhere, at school from their peers, from the TV where about 20,000 sexual scenes are broadcasted annually in advertisement, soap operas, prime time shows and MTV. The hard core rock music nowadays fanned the flames of sexual desires. Most of the parents do not know what kind of music their children are listening. If they care, and listen to hard rock songs, they will know what they are singing some of these songs that have pornographic words and sentences which made Kandy Stroud, a former rock fan, beg parents to stop their children from listening to what she calls "Pornographic Rock". Music affects our mood by activating Melantonin, the hormone from the pineal gland in the brain which is turned on by darkness, turned off by flashing light. It is the same gland which has been thought to trigger puberty, and affects reproductive cycle, and sex mood.
What Is The True Role Of Parents?For their failures (i.e. teenage pregnancy), the American educators are putting the blame, as usual, on the parents. In fact in Wisconsin and many other states the grandparents of a baby born to a teenager are responsible for the financial support of the child. Remember parents are not needed if their teenage daughter needs contraceptives or abortion. Faced with such hypocrisy, the parents job is to instil in their teenagers mind what is not taught in sex education classes i.e. reason not to engage in sex, reason not to get pregnant etc. At the same time, they should divert their energies to some productive activities like community work, sports, character growth, or Sunday schools. Another role of parents is to help their children make the right decisions. In Islam anything which leads to wrong is also wrong. Therefore parents should control the music children are listening, the TV program they are watching, the magazines they are reading, and the dress (which may provoke the desire in the opposite sex) they are wearing. While group social activity should be permitted within supervision, dating should not be allowed. When American teenagers start dating, sex is on their mind.In fact 25% of college freshman boys during a survey responded by saying that if they have paid for the food, and the girl does not go all the way, they have a right to force her to have sex. Many of the rapes occur at the end of the date and are not reported. Anything which breaks down sexual inhibition and loss of self control i.e. alcohol, drug, petting or just being together for two members of the opposite sex in a secluded place should not be allowed for Muslim teenagers. Kissing and petting is preparing the body for sex. The body can be brought to a point of no return.In summary, the Muslim parents should teach their children that they are different from non-Muslims in their value system and way of life. Having a feeling and love in your heart for someone else of the opposite sex is different and beyond check, while expression of the same through sex is entirely different and should be under control. Muslim children should be told that they don't drink alcohol, eat pork, take drugs, and they don't have to engage in pre-marital sex either.

MASTURBATION SEX POSITION

Masturbation Sex Position - Stretch and Relax :
This position is the antidote for those who tense up and never move during masturbation. Before you begin, lie on your back, and stretch your arms and legs out as far as possible, making your body into an “X” shape. Try to hold the stretch for ten seconds. Do this a few times before you begin masturbating. As you masturbate try to keep your body stretched out as much as is comfortable, think about it as if you are trying to take up as much space on the bed as you can.
Masturbation Sex Position – Knees Bent/Hips Open:
This is a classic position for masturbation. Lie on your back with your feet on your floor and knees bent. Focus on how your hips feel, and the different kinds of hip movements that are comfortable and possible in this position. A variation of this position is to bring your knees close to your chest. This position is all about rocking your hips and opening them up to the energy that is created as you masturbate.
Masturbation Sex Position - On Your Knees:
This may seem like an odd position but that is partly the point. Find a comfortable position on your knees, with a pillow underneath them. Try it with your body upright, as if standing on your knees. Be on your knees but leaning back resting on your calves You can even try to masturbate while on your hands and knees (although you’ll probably have at least one hand occupied, so be careful with your balance). The point is to see how masturbation and orgasm feels, in these different positions.
Masturbation Sex Position - Heels over Head :
Not everyone will be flexible enough for this masturbation sex position, but you can experiment with variations that will work for you. Lie on your back and bring your legs up so that they are pointing to your head. You can keep your legs together or spread them apart, you can bend your knees or keep them straight. In this position you have access not just to your genitals but also your sides, your behind, and your legs. Put a pillow under your hips
Masturbation Sex Position – Half on/Half off:
This position is designed to get you playing with gravity. In this position you want to have part of your body on a flat surface (like a bed or the floor) and another part of your body at a different level. So you might lie on your back near a wall with your legs up on the wall. Or try lying on your stomach at the edge of the bed with your waist and legs off the bed. Or masturbate while sitting up completely straight, so that your upper torso is sitting up and your lower body is lying flat.
Masturbation Sex Position – Dancing on the WallsLie on your back either on bed or the floor, but right by a wall. Position your waist so that your bum is right by the wall, and raise your legs going straight up the wall (it’s like that “bicycle” exercise position). A variation of this is to keep your bum slightly away from the wall and put your feet flat against the wall with your knees bent (so that when you push with your feet you are moving your body away from the wall). This position is another good one for exploring hip movements, and you can experiment with pushing against the wall with your feet as you masturbate.
Masturbation Sex Position - All Curled Up and Nowhere to GoThis position for masturbation is about drawing your body in on itself. You can curl up on your side, on your back, or on your hands and knees. In each position your genitals are still exposed and it’s easiest to use a sex toy for masturbating in these positions. You may not notice much while masturbating in this position, but once you’ve finished, stretch out, and pay close attention to how your body feels.

SEX TIPS FOR THE REST OF US

This week’s sex tip is an answer to a common question I get from people in relationships: How can I teach my sexual partner what works for me? There is a simple and elegant solution to this problem: Masturbate for your partner.
Letting your partner watch you masturbate is like giving them a crash course in where, how, how long and how much they like to be touched. They also get to see you go through your own process of sexual response. Plus it can be incredibly sexy.
Lots of us are shy about being so revealing, but there’s a way to do this that addresses self-consciousness or nervousness. Here’s what you do:
First you need to establish whether this is going to be reciprocal. If you put on a show for them, are they going to put one on for you? Next, get a blindfold. It’s amazing when you put a blindfold on yourself how quickly you can forget that anyone is in the room. When you put on your show, if you’re shy, wear the blindfold. This may seem like a silly idea, but it works.
You may want to set some ground rules. Your partner has to agree that they won’t talk (unless you want them to) and when you’re done they’ll leave the room (unless you ask them to stay) so you can be alone afterward. If there are other things you need to feel comfortable, ask for them beforehand and make sure you’re both OK with it.
Tell your partner you’ll go into a room and they should wait five minutes before coming in. Then go into the room, get undressed, put on a blindfold, and start masturbaTION If you’re used to masturbating you’ll probably find at some point that you stop thinking about the fact that your partner is watching (or you may find it a turn-on knowing they are watching).
Once you’re done, it can be interesting to ask your partner to talk about what they noticed. Often we do things physically when we masturbate that we are unaware of, and having your partner watch can be an education for you too. If they notice things or ask questions about why you moved a certain way or where you were touching yourself, it’s a perfect time to talk about how and where you like to be touched.
This one-person show isn’t meant to tell your partner the only way they can or should touch you. And it doesn’t mean you don’t want them to try new things either. But revealing yourself masturbating to a partner can be both an erotic and intimate experience that goes a long way to deepening your sexual connection.
As always, try to have fun!

SOME TIPS TO CONSIDER

Negotiating safe sex is not always easy

. Here are a few tips that may help.
Have condoms handy if you think there is a possibility that you will be having sex.
Don’t assume that safe sex is the man’s responsibility. Women can carry condoms too.
Don’t assume that a man will feel confident about using condoms. Learn about how they are used correctly so you can help. This can be fun.
Make it your business to find out about condoms. Investigate colours and flavours.
Find out where you can get condoms without embarrassment.
Try to negotiate safe sex before you get into the ‘heat of the moment’. This is usually not the best time for debate and discussion.
=Some things you could sayThink up some statements that you feel comfortable using, for example:
‘Where’s the condom?’
‘Let’s have safe sex to protect both of us.’
‘I can roll the condom onto you with my mouth.’ Make sure you can.
‘To make sure I don’t get pregnant, I like to use condoms.’What to do if you are exposed to body fluidsIf you are exposed to body fluids, you should wash the skin or area thoroughly with soap and water. Don’t use a douche in the vagina or rectum as this can irritate the area and increase the risk of HIV transmission. See your doctor for further information and advice. Post exposure prophylaxis (PEP) is a month-long course of medication for people who have been exposed to the HIV virus. To be most effective, it should be started within 72 hours of exposure. It is best to start as early as possible after exposure. These drugs can be toxic on the body with unpleasant side effects such as vomiting, nausea and lethargy. PEP is not an alternative to safe sex. If you think you have been exposed to HIV or think you need help, call 1800 889 887. This is a 24-hour telephone service.Clothes, bedding or other material can be washed in water and detergent or dry-cleaned.Don’t share toothbrushes or razorsEveryday household contact doesn’t transmit the HIV virus, but the intimacy of a sexual relationship means that lovers tend to share personal items, which can be a risk. A serodiscordant couple should avoid sharing toothbrushes, razors or any other personal item (including injecting equipment) that could have come in contact with blood.

HIV AND WOMAN

HIV and women - safe sex
In Australia, the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is most commonly spread through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with an infected person. Describing a couple as ‘serodiscordant’ means that one partner is HIV positive and the other is not. This can raise a number of issues, such as how to have sex safely. Finding out more about what is safe, talking to others with experience or talking with a counsellor may be helpful. This article offers general information, but also talk with your doctor or AIDS organisation.Safe sex suggestionsHIV is transmitted by body fluids including blood, ejaculate (cum), pre-ejaculate (pre-cum), female genital fluids (both vaginal and cervical fluid) and breast milk. The way the virus gains entry to another person may be directly across the mucosa (the lining of the vagina or bowel) or into the bloodstream. HIV can also pass from mother to baby during pregnancy or birth, or via breast milk.It is important to prevent the transfer of these body fluids, whether the woman or her partner is HIV positive. Be guided by your doctor or health worker, but safe sex suggestions include:
Kissing, cuddling, masturbation, mutual masturbation, massage, and ejaculating or urinating on unbroken skin are considered safe activities.
Always wear a condom and use a water based lubricant when having vaginal or anal sex.
The woman may prefer to wear a female condom that is inserted into the vagina.
Pre-ejaculate (pre-cum) of an HIV positive man may transmit the virus, so don’t rely on the withdrawal method.
Oral sex with either a man or woman is considered a ‘low risk’ activity for transmission of HIV. However the risk increases when people have cuts or sores in their mouth or on their lips, or have recently brushed their teeth and gums or flossed their teeth. For extra safety, people may choose to use a condom during oral sex performed on the man, or a dental dam or similar protection (such as clear plastic cling wrap – but not the ‘microwave safe’ variety which has tiny holes in it) during oral sex performed on the woman.
Avoid penetration of the vagina or anus with finger or fist if there are abrasions on the hand or arm – to be sure, wear a latex glove and use lots of water based lubricant.
Don’t share penetrative sex toys such as dildos – consider having a separate collection for each partner, covering them with a new condom each time they are used, or washing them thoroughly in warm soapy water between partners.
Lesbian serodiscordant couples should also follow these safer sex suggestions.

basic spooning sex position

Basic Spooning Sex Positions:
Lying on your side you are facing away from your partner (if you’re the one being penetrated) or facing your partners back (if you’re doing the penetrating). Usually there will be some overlapping of arms and legs in this position.
Variations of Spooning Positions:
If you like the idea of this position, think about how it will be most comfortable for you.
If you are penetrating your partner, you might want to be lower down then them on the bed. Use your hands and arms to spread apart or lift up one of their legs. In another variation, the partner being penetrated can curl up a bit, exposing their bum and/or vagina. The “scissors” position is another variation on side-by-side.
illustrated spooning sex positions.
Pros of Spooning Sex Positions:
This position offers a lot of physical contact for the person doing the penetrating.
For people with hip problems this position can be very comfortable and allow for longer, slower penetration.
Cons of Spooning Sex Positions:
This position does not allow for a lot of leverage for thrusting and both partners may feel like they have less movement .

SEX POSITION TIPS

The most obvious (but not the only) part of a sex position is the actual physical position your body is in. There are thousands of positions we can put our body into. Standing, kneeling, curled up in a fetal position, sitting with our legs spread open, with our legs crossed, squatting, etc… Most of the time, people who live with pain and chronic conditions (whether it’s chronic back pain, asthma, arthritis, or a broken arm that won’t heal for 8 weeks) can still find sex positions that will work for them and won’t increase their pain. Some sex positions, like SEX POSITION are defined by the physical position you choose. Other sex positions will work regardless of the physical position of your body.
Think about positions that you like when you aren’t having sex. How are you most comfortable, and what physical positions and postures make you feel sexy, or strong, or submissive. Having intercourse with your partner while they are all curled up in a ball is very different than when they are writhing on top of you arms up in the air. Both can be great, depending on the people. Think about what positions and postures you like, and a few you think you might want to try.