How is HIV transmitted in Nigeria?
Some 80% of HIV infections in Nigeria are transmitted through heterosexual sex. Factors contributing to this include a lack of information about sexual health and HIV, low levels of condom use and high levels of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, which make it easier for the virus to be transmitted.
It has been reported that blood transfusions account for up to 10 percent of new HIV infections in Nigeria11. There is a high demand for blood because of blood loss from surgery and childbirth, road-traffic accidents and anaemia and malaria. Not all Nigerian hospitals have the technology to effectively screen blood and therefore contaminated blood is often used. The Nigerian Federal Ministry of Health have responded by backing legislation that requires hospitals to only use blood from the National Blood Transfusion Service, which has far more advanced blood-screening technology12.
The other main transmission route is mother-to-child transmission. In 2005 it was estimated that 220,000 children were living with HIV, most of whom became infected from their mothers13.
Factors contributing to the spread of HIV in Nigeria
Lack of sexual health information and education
Sex is traditionally a very private subject in Nigeria and the discussion of sex with teenagers is often seen as inappropriate. Up until recently there was little or no sexual health education for young people and this has been a major barrier to reducing rates of HIV and other STDs. UNAIDS estimate that only 18 percent of women and 21 percent of men between the ages of 15 and 24 correctly identify ways to prevent HIV14. Lack of accurate information about sexual health has meant there are many myths and misconceptions about sex and HIV, contributing to increasing transmission rates as well as stigma and discrimination towards people living with HIV/AIDS.
HIV testing
Doctors seeing patients in an HIV clinic in Nigeria
Another contributing factor to the spread of HIV in Nigeria is the distinct lack of voluntary and routine HIV testing. In a 2003 survey, just 6 percent of women and 14 percent of men had ever been tested for HIV and received the results15. In 2005, only around 1 percent of pregnant women were being tested for HIV16.
In 2006 president Obasanjo publicly received an HIV test and counselling on World AIDS Day in order to promote the services and information available to people in Nigeria. He stated on the day, “A great majority of Nigerians have now come to accept the reality of AIDS”17. However, the statistics show that the Nigerian government desperately need to scale up HIV testing rates in order to bring the epidemic under control.
Cultural practices
Women are particularly affected by the epidemic in Nigeria. In 2006 UNAIDS estimated that women accounted for 61.5 percent of all adults aged 15 and above living with HIV18.
Traditionally, women in Nigeria marry young, although the average age at which they marry varies between states. A 2007 study revealed that 54 percent of girls from the North West aged between 15-24 were married by age 15, and 81 percent were married by age 1819. The study showed that the younger married girls lacked knowledge on reproductive health, which included HIV/AIDS. They also tend to lack the power and education needed to insist upon the use of a condom during sex. Coupled with the high probability that the husband will be significantly older than the girl and therefore is more likely to have had more sexual partners in the past, young women are more vulnerable to HIV infection within marriage.
AVERT.org has more about women and AIDS.
Poor healthcare system
Over the last two decades, Nigeria's healthcare system has deteriorated as a result of political instability, corruption and a mismanaged economy. Large parts of the country lack even basic healthcare provision, making it difficult to establish HIV testing and prevention services such as those for the prevention of mother-to-child transmission. Sexual health clinics providing contraception, testing and treatment for other STDs are also few and far between20. This makes it particularly difficult to keep the spread of the epidemic under control.
Prevention
Condoms
The total number of condoms provided by international donors has been relatively low. One report showed that between 2000 and 2005, the average number of condoms distributed in Nigeria by donors was 5.9 per man, per year21. A study in 2002 found that 75 percent of health service facilities that had been visited did not have any condoms or contraceptive supplies22.
The number of female condoms sold in Nigeria has significantly increased, which indicates a greater awareness of sexual health issues. In 2003 only 25,000 female condoms had been sold, which increased to 375,000 in 200623. The female condom can potentially help in reducing the spread of HIV, as it does not rely upon the willingness of the man to use a condom himself. However, the female condom is more expensive than the traditional male condom, and is too pricey for the majority of Nigerians.
Restrictions on condom promotion have hampered HIV prevention efforts. In 2001, a radio advertisement was suspended by the Advertising Practitioners Council of Nigeria (APCON) for promoting messages suggesting that it is acceptable to engage in premarital sex as long as a condom is used24. In 2006 APCON also started to enforce stricter regulations on condom advertisements that might encourage ‘indecency’25.
Education
As the majority of new HIV infections occur in young people between the ages of 15 and 25, sex education at school is an important aspect of HIV prevention. In recent years a new curriculum has been introduced for comprehensive sex education for 10-18 year olds. It focuses on improving young people's knowledge and attitudes to sexual health and reducing sexual risk-taking behaviours.
In the past, attempts at providing sex education for young people were hampered by religious and cultural objections26. However, the new curriculum was developed with consultation from religious and community leaders and is expected to remain in place in the future.
Media campaigns & public awareness
As Nigeria is such a large and diverse country, media campaigns to raise awareness of HIV are a practical way of reaching many people in different regions. Radio campaigns like the one created by the Society for Family Health are thought to have been successful in increasing knowledge and changing behaviour. "Future Dreams", was a radio serial broadcast in 2001 in nine languages on 42 radio channels. It focused on encouraging consistent condom use, increasing knowledge and increasing skills for condom negotiation in single men and women aged between 18 and 3427.
In 2005, a campaign was launched in Nigeria in a bid to raise more public awareness of HIV/AIDS. This campaign took advantage of the recent increase in owners of mobile phones and sent text messages with information about HIV/AIDS to 9 million people28.
Monday, August 31, 2009
HIV AND AIDS IN NIGERIA
UNAIDS estimates that in Nigeria, around 3.1 percent of adults between ages 15-49 are living with HIV and AIDS. Although the HIV prevalence is much lower in Nigeria than in other African countries such as South Africa and Zambia, the size of Nigeria’s population (around 138 million) meant that by the end of 2007, there were an estimated 2,600,000 people infected with HIV.1
Approximately 170,000 people died from AIDS in 2007 alone2. With AIDS claiming so many people's lives, Nigeria’s life expectancy has declined. In 1991 the average life expectancy was 53.8 years for women and 52.6 years for men3. In 2007 these figures had fallen to 46 for women and 47 for men.
Despite being the largest oil producer in Africa and the 12th largest in the world4, Nigeria is ranked 158 out of 177 on the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) Human Poverty Index5. This poor economic position has meant that Nigeria is faced with huge challenges in fighting its HIV/AIDS epidemic.
The history of HIV and AIDS in Nigeria
The first two HIV cases in Nigeria were identified in 1985 and were reported at an international AIDS conference in 19866. In 1987 the Nigerian health sector established the National AIDS Advisory Committee, which was shortly followed by the establishment of the National Expert Advisory Committee on AIDS (NEACA).
At first the Nigerian government was slow to respond to the increasing rates of HIV transmission7 and it was only in 1991 that the Federal Ministry of Health made their first attempt to assess the Nigerian HIV/AIDS situation. The results showed that around 1.8 percent of the population of Nigeria were infected with HIV. Subsequent surveillance reports revealed that during the 1990s the HIV prevalence rose from 3.8% in 1993 to 4.5% in 19988.
A poster encouraging sexual abstinence in Nigeria
When Olusegun Obasanjo became the president of Nigeria in 1999, HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care became one of the government’s primary concerns. The President’s Committee on AIDS and the National Action Committee on AIDS (NACA) were created, and in 2001, the government set up a three-year HIV/AIDS Emergency Action Plan (HEAP). In the same year, Obasanjo hosted the Organisation of African Unity’s first African Summit on HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Other Related Infectious Diseases9.
Despite these positive intentions for tackling the epidemic, in 2006 it was estimated that just 10 percent of HIV-infected women and men were receiving antiretroviral therapy and only 7 percent of pregnant women were receiving treatment to reduce the risk of mother-to-child transmission of HIV10.
Approximately 170,000 people died from AIDS in 2007 alone2. With AIDS claiming so many people's lives, Nigeria’s life expectancy has declined. In 1991 the average life expectancy was 53.8 years for women and 52.6 years for men3. In 2007 these figures had fallen to 46 for women and 47 for men.
Despite being the largest oil producer in Africa and the 12th largest in the world4, Nigeria is ranked 158 out of 177 on the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) Human Poverty Index5. This poor economic position has meant that Nigeria is faced with huge challenges in fighting its HIV/AIDS epidemic.
The history of HIV and AIDS in Nigeria
The first two HIV cases in Nigeria were identified in 1985 and were reported at an international AIDS conference in 19866. In 1987 the Nigerian health sector established the National AIDS Advisory Committee, which was shortly followed by the establishment of the National Expert Advisory Committee on AIDS (NEACA).
At first the Nigerian government was slow to respond to the increasing rates of HIV transmission7 and it was only in 1991 that the Federal Ministry of Health made their first attempt to assess the Nigerian HIV/AIDS situation. The results showed that around 1.8 percent of the population of Nigeria were infected with HIV. Subsequent surveillance reports revealed that during the 1990s the HIV prevalence rose from 3.8% in 1993 to 4.5% in 19988.
A poster encouraging sexual abstinence in Nigeria
When Olusegun Obasanjo became the president of Nigeria in 1999, HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care became one of the government’s primary concerns. The President’s Committee on AIDS and the National Action Committee on AIDS (NACA) were created, and in 2001, the government set up a three-year HIV/AIDS Emergency Action Plan (HEAP). In the same year, Obasanjo hosted the Organisation of African Unity’s first African Summit on HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Other Related Infectious Diseases9.
Despite these positive intentions for tackling the epidemic, in 2006 it was estimated that just 10 percent of HIV-infected women and men were receiving antiretroviral therapy and only 7 percent of pregnant women were receiving treatment to reduce the risk of mother-to-child transmission of HIV10.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
what is HIV/AIDS
HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. This virus is transferred from person to person when an HIV positive individual’s blood, semen, vaginal fluids, or breast milk comes in contact with another person’s bloodstream (through the mouth, throat, or breaks in the skin). This viral infection usually occurs during unprotected sexual activity, but can also occur between an HIV/AIDS positive mother and her child, through an unsecure blood transfusion, and by sharing used needles.
Once infected it takes as long as 8 to 10 years for the Human
Once infected it takes as long as 8 to 10 years for the Human
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
ANOTHER WAYS TO SHOW YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND
TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE The future isn't as far away as it seems sometimes. Talk about where you'd like to be when you're married 50 years, and work on making those dreams happen.
GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT Don't jump to conclusions if your husband has said or done something questionable. Give him the chance to explain before you pass judgement.
LET HIM BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE Although this is growing increasingly unpopular, it does still work. Just because your husband is in charge of the household doesn't mean that you can't share your opinions, it just means he's captain of the team.
SAY, "I'M SORRY" Although you may not want to admit it, there will be times when you're in the wrong. Maybe you've said something hurtful or done something insensitive. Never have too much pride to tell him you're sorry.
KEEP YOUR PROMISES If you told your husband you'd do something, make sure that you follow through.
RUB HIS FEET Steer him to the recliner and pull off his shoes. Rub his feet for at least 20 minutes. It has been told that this may even improve his health!
MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A LOVER'S PARADISE Turn your ordinary bedroom into any lover's dream without a lot of expense. Remove clutter and anything that doesn't belong, and replace it with scented candles and fresh flowers. Hang pretty curtains and find some comfy bedding. Place mirrors to reflect candlelight, and misting fountains for a romantic effect.
WRITE A NOTE ON THE STEAMED-UP BATHROOM MIRROR While your husband is showering, sneak in and write, "I love you" on the steamed-up bathroom mirror. This will steam him up as well, especially if you seal it with your lip prints!
PUT LOVE IN HIS SUDS I'm talking about a bar of soap! Scratch "I love you" into his soap so he'll find it the next time he showers. (You may not want to seal this note with your lip prints, though).
GIVE HIM A MASSAGE Go buy some sweet smelling oils and turn your bedroom into a spa! Give your husband a full body massage and work out those aching muscles.
PLAY ROMANTIC MUSIC Keep a good deal of romantic music on hand in your bedroom to help set the mood for romance.
PUT A SIGN IN YOUR YARDPlace a sign in your yard such as, "THE WORLD'S GREATEST HUSBAND LIVES HERE." Let everyone know how special your husband is to you.
LET BYGONES BE BYGONES If your husband has done or said something to hurt you, forgive him. Don't keep bringing up the past every time you get into a disagreement, especially if he has shown remorse.
BE HONEST Don't hide things from your husband. Be open and transparent. This will help him trust you more.
BRAG ON HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS Men naturally rely on boost in their ego now and then in order to stay confident. Let him hear you tell others about the great things he says and does.
CLEAN HIS CAR FOR HIM Surprise him by giving his car a good detailed cleaning. If you don't want to tackle it yourself, have it professionally done.
PUT HIS PICTURE IN WALLPAPER Let him know that you still think he's a gorgeous hunk by putting his picture on your computer desktop!
BUY A BUMPER STICKER Put a "I Love My Husband" bumper sticker on your car.
WORSHIP TOGETHER The couple who prays together, stays together. These will be very tender and special moments shared between the two of you, as well as important.
EAT BY CANDLELIGHT Cook his favorite meal and light the candles. Take time to focus on each other, and to look into each others eyes.
GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT Don't jump to conclusions if your husband has said or done something questionable. Give him the chance to explain before you pass judgement.
LET HIM BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE Although this is growing increasingly unpopular, it does still work. Just because your husband is in charge of the household doesn't mean that you can't share your opinions, it just means he's captain of the team.
SAY, "I'M SORRY" Although you may not want to admit it, there will be times when you're in the wrong. Maybe you've said something hurtful or done something insensitive. Never have too much pride to tell him you're sorry.
KEEP YOUR PROMISES If you told your husband you'd do something, make sure that you follow through.
RUB HIS FEET Steer him to the recliner and pull off his shoes. Rub his feet for at least 20 minutes. It has been told that this may even improve his health!
MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A LOVER'S PARADISE Turn your ordinary bedroom into any lover's dream without a lot of expense. Remove clutter and anything that doesn't belong, and replace it with scented candles and fresh flowers. Hang pretty curtains and find some comfy bedding. Place mirrors to reflect candlelight, and misting fountains for a romantic effect.
WRITE A NOTE ON THE STEAMED-UP BATHROOM MIRROR While your husband is showering, sneak in and write, "I love you" on the steamed-up bathroom mirror. This will steam him up as well, especially if you seal it with your lip prints!
PUT LOVE IN HIS SUDS I'm talking about a bar of soap! Scratch "I love you" into his soap so he'll find it the next time he showers. (You may not want to seal this note with your lip prints, though).
GIVE HIM A MASSAGE Go buy some sweet smelling oils and turn your bedroom into a spa! Give your husband a full body massage and work out those aching muscles.
PLAY ROMANTIC MUSIC Keep a good deal of romantic music on hand in your bedroom to help set the mood for romance.
PUT A SIGN IN YOUR YARDPlace a sign in your yard such as, "THE WORLD'S GREATEST HUSBAND LIVES HERE." Let everyone know how special your husband is to you.
LET BYGONES BE BYGONES If your husband has done or said something to hurt you, forgive him. Don't keep bringing up the past every time you get into a disagreement, especially if he has shown remorse.
BE HONEST Don't hide things from your husband. Be open and transparent. This will help him trust you more.
BRAG ON HIM IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS Men naturally rely on boost in their ego now and then in order to stay confident. Let him hear you tell others about the great things he says and does.
CLEAN HIS CAR FOR HIM Surprise him by giving his car a good detailed cleaning. If you don't want to tackle it yourself, have it professionally done.
PUT HIS PICTURE IN WALLPAPER Let him know that you still think he's a gorgeous hunk by putting his picture on your computer desktop!
BUY A BUMPER STICKER Put a "I Love My Husband" bumper sticker on your car.
WORSHIP TOGETHER The couple who prays together, stays together. These will be very tender and special moments shared between the two of you, as well as important.
EAT BY CANDLELIGHT Cook his favorite meal and light the candles. Take time to focus on each other, and to look into each others eyes.
20 WAYS TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU LOVE HIM
TEXT HIM A LOVE MESSAGE Send him a romantic text message on his cell. Make sure it's sweet but spicy!
DO ONE OF HIS CHORES FOR HIM Pick a chore that he dreads, such as mowing the lawn, and do it for him. Watch him as he sighs with relief.
START A HOBBY TOGETHER Sharing a hobby together such as horse back riding, completing a home improvement project, or selling on eBay can help keep you close.
PLAY A GAME TOGETHER Have fun doing things together such as playing board games, riding bumper boats, or playing miniature golf. Just remember, if he should get the best of you, don't tackle him unless you're laughing!
SHOW APPRECIATION When your husband works hard, or does something for you, let him know you appreciate him.
MAKE YOUR HOME HIS REFUGE Let your home be a haven were your husband can retreat from the stresses of life. Do your best to make it a pleasant environment.
LAUGH AT HIS ANTICS Don't let the little things that your husband does get on your nerves. If you think about it, some of these things may have been what attracted you to him! He just wouldn't be the same if he didn't do these things.
PRAY FOR HIM Ask God to give him that extra boost to make everything OK. Let your husband hear you pray too. This will let him know that when you can't make it right, you'll ask someone who can.
CHECK BEFORE THROWING THINGS AWAY If your husband has some things that seem useless to you, don't trash them until you've made sure he doesn't need them.
CHECK BEFORE REARRANGING Ask your husband if it's OK before you move or straighten things on his desk or work area. If he has things where it's easy to find, it might make it chaotic if it's moved.
TAKE A WALK OR A HIKE TOGETHER Let nature set the mood for romance! Talk, listen, and hold hands.
DON'T EXPECT HIM TO READ YOUR MIND If there is something you want your husband to know about you, tell him. Don't expect him to just know what you're thinking or what you need.
LAUGH TOGETHER Forget your adults for awhile, and just act silly together. Also, if something should go awry, try to find some humor in it somewhere. This will also reduce the stress of the situation.
RESIST THE URGE TO SNOOP Don't sneak around and check up on your husband, if you want to know something, ask him to his face.
GIVE HIM A ROMANTIC CARDDon't wait for a special occasion to give him a card. Find the most romantic card you can find and leave it in his car. Don't forget to add your own personal message! Maybe you'll even make him nervous, wondering if he forgot an anniversary!
PACK HIS FAVORITE TREAT Buy his favorite candy bar or other treat, and pack it in his lunch with a love note.
TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER This is self-explanatory.
E-MAIL HIM AN INVITATION FOR ROMANCE Invite him on a rendezvous with you! Build his anticipation, then tell him to RSVP!
TAKE HIM TO TEST DRIVE HIS DREAM CAR Drive him to a car lot some Saturday, and let him test drive the car of his dreams - even though you probably won't buy it.
LET HIM BUY THAT TOY Permit him to buy that toy he's been wanting so badly. Better yet, put some of your own things off, save the money and buy it for him yourself!
DO ONE OF HIS CHORES FOR HIM Pick a chore that he dreads, such as mowing the lawn, and do it for him. Watch him as he sighs with relief.
START A HOBBY TOGETHER Sharing a hobby together such as horse back riding, completing a home improvement project, or selling on eBay can help keep you close.
PLAY A GAME TOGETHER Have fun doing things together such as playing board games, riding bumper boats, or playing miniature golf. Just remember, if he should get the best of you, don't tackle him unless you're laughing!
SHOW APPRECIATION When your husband works hard, or does something for you, let him know you appreciate him.
MAKE YOUR HOME HIS REFUGE Let your home be a haven were your husband can retreat from the stresses of life. Do your best to make it a pleasant environment.
LAUGH AT HIS ANTICS Don't let the little things that your husband does get on your nerves. If you think about it, some of these things may have been what attracted you to him! He just wouldn't be the same if he didn't do these things.
PRAY FOR HIM Ask God to give him that extra boost to make everything OK. Let your husband hear you pray too. This will let him know that when you can't make it right, you'll ask someone who can.
CHECK BEFORE THROWING THINGS AWAY If your husband has some things that seem useless to you, don't trash them until you've made sure he doesn't need them.
CHECK BEFORE REARRANGING Ask your husband if it's OK before you move or straighten things on his desk or work area. If he has things where it's easy to find, it might make it chaotic if it's moved.
TAKE A WALK OR A HIKE TOGETHER Let nature set the mood for romance! Talk, listen, and hold hands.
DON'T EXPECT HIM TO READ YOUR MIND If there is something you want your husband to know about you, tell him. Don't expect him to just know what you're thinking or what you need.
LAUGH TOGETHER Forget your adults for awhile, and just act silly together. Also, if something should go awry, try to find some humor in it somewhere. This will also reduce the stress of the situation.
RESIST THE URGE TO SNOOP Don't sneak around and check up on your husband, if you want to know something, ask him to his face.
GIVE HIM A ROMANTIC CARDDon't wait for a special occasion to give him a card. Find the most romantic card you can find and leave it in his car. Don't forget to add your own personal message! Maybe you'll even make him nervous, wondering if he forgot an anniversary!
PACK HIS FAVORITE TREAT Buy his favorite candy bar or other treat, and pack it in his lunch with a love note.
TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER This is self-explanatory.
E-MAIL HIM AN INVITATION FOR ROMANCE Invite him on a rendezvous with you! Build his anticipation, then tell him to RSVP!
TAKE HIM TO TEST DRIVE HIS DREAM CAR Drive him to a car lot some Saturday, and let him test drive the car of his dreams - even though you probably won't buy it.
LET HIM BUY THAT TOY Permit him to buy that toy he's been wanting so badly. Better yet, put some of your own things off, save the money and buy it for him yourself!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Is Your Relationship Sizzling or Fizzling?
Is Your Relationship Sizzling or Fizzling?
Do you know how well your relationship is faring in the chemistry department? By answering the following questions, you'll be able to better gauge where the two of you are at and if your chemistry needs some work or is strong and healthy.
Do you know how well your relationship is faring in the chemistry department? By answering the following questions, you'll be able to better gauge where the two of you are at and if your chemistry needs some work or is strong and healthy.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
TOP 10 DATING TIPS
Top 10 Dating Tips
Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.
CAN PRE-EJACULATION CAUSE PREGNANCY?
Do we know that pre-ejaculate fluid can contain sperm? Yes, we do. We also know that there are far, far less sperm in pre-ejaculate -- when there are any at all -- than there are in a full ejaculation: a full ejaculation contains as many as 100 million sperm, whereas when sperm is in pre-ejaculate, it's more like a few million, if that many. But it only takes one active sperm and a few hundred helper sperm to create a pregnancy, so sometimes there may be more than enough sperm in pre-ejaculate when sperm are present in it to make that happen.
There's no 100% way to know at the time if pre-ejaculate contains sperm, but it's generally agreed upon that it is most likely or only likely to when a man has recently ejaculated and has not urinated afterwards (urine flushes the urethra out, removing traces of sperm). It's generally considered to be least likely to contain sperm when a man either hasn't ejaculated in a while and/or has recently urinated before he's pre-ejaculating.
Since you'll often hear a lot of argument when it comes to whether sperm are or are not present in pre-ejaculate, here's what some other credible folks have to say on the matter:
There's no 100% way to know at the time if pre-ejaculate contains sperm, but it's generally agreed upon that it is most likely or only likely to when a man has recently ejaculated and has not urinated afterwards (urine flushes the urethra out, removing traces of sperm). It's generally considered to be least likely to contain sperm when a man either hasn't ejaculated in a while and/or has recently urinated before he's pre-ejaculating.
Since you'll often hear a lot of argument when it comes to whether sperm are or are not present in pre-ejaculate, here's what some other credible folks have to say on the matter:
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
WHAT IS SEX ALL ABOUT
What Do You Mean By Sex?
Whether you want more or less sex, what does it mean to you when you say you want sex? Do you want specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. an orgasm)? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you? We all assume we know what we mean when we say “sex” but sex has many meanings, and you should start by clarifying for yourself what sex means to you. At some point that’s something you can communicate to your partner.
Define the Issue for Yourself
It’s rare that one of you will be dissatisfied while the other is completely happy. Even if you like things the way they are, how do you feel about your partner’s dissatisfaction with your sex life? Does this issue feel like a relationship “deal breaker,” something that will have to be fixed or it will destroy your relationship? Does this feel like something that is less important to you than finding compromise on raising kids, or work or family? If you find out that your partner prioritizes sex differently than you, are you willing to compromise to stay in the relationship?
Describe Your Sex Drive
Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. Have you taken the time to think about how your own history and your current life have influenced your interest in sex? One way to explore this for yourself is to write out your sexual history. This may not be something you share with your partner, but having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you take responsibility when talking with a partner.
When Talking Won’t Do, Write a Letter
Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner. Some people actually write their partner a letter, and end up giving it to them at a later point. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.
Whether you want more or less sex, what does it mean to you when you say you want sex? Do you want specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. an orgasm)? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you? We all assume we know what we mean when we say “sex” but sex has many meanings, and you should start by clarifying for yourself what sex means to you. At some point that’s something you can communicate to your partner.
Define the Issue for Yourself
It’s rare that one of you will be dissatisfied while the other is completely happy. Even if you like things the way they are, how do you feel about your partner’s dissatisfaction with your sex life? Does this issue feel like a relationship “deal breaker,” something that will have to be fixed or it will destroy your relationship? Does this feel like something that is less important to you than finding compromise on raising kids, or work or family? If you find out that your partner prioritizes sex differently than you, are you willing to compromise to stay in the relationship?
Describe Your Sex Drive
Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. Have you taken the time to think about how your own history and your current life have influenced your interest in sex? One way to explore this for yourself is to write out your sexual history. This may not be something you share with your partner, but having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you take responsibility when talking with a partner.
When Talking Won’t Do, Write a Letter
Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner. Some people actually write their partner a letter, and end up giving it to them at a later point. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.
WHAT IS SEX ALL ABOUT
What Do You Mean By Sex?
Whether you want more or less sex, what does it mean to you when you say you want sex? Do you want specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. an orgasm)? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you? We all assume we know what we mean when we say “sex” but sex has many meanings, and you should start by clarifying for yourself what sex means to you. At some point that’s something you can communicate to your partner.
Define the Issue for Yourself
It’s rare that one of you will be dissatisfied while the other is completely happy. Even if you like things the way they are, how do you feel about your partner’s dissatisfaction with your sex life? Does this issue feel like a relationship “deal breaker,” something that will have to be fixed or it will destroy your relationship? Does this feel like something that is less important to you than finding compromise on raising kids, or work or family? If you find out that your partner prioritizes sex differently than you, are you willing to compromise to stay in the relationship?
Describe Your Sex Drive
Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. Have you taken the time to think about how your own history and your current life have influenced your interest in sex? One way to explore this for yourself is to write out your sexual history. This may not be something you share with your partner, but having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you take responsibility when talking with a partner.
When Talking Won’t Do, Write a Letter
Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner. Some people actually write their partner a letter, and end up giving it to them at a later point. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.
Whether you want more or less sex, what does it mean to you when you say you want sex? Do you want specific behaviors, specific outcomes (e.g. an orgasm)? Do you want more intimacy, more connection or more attention paid to you? We all assume we know what we mean when we say “sex” but sex has many meanings, and you should start by clarifying for yourself what sex means to you. At some point that’s something you can communicate to your partner.
Define the Issue for Yourself
It’s rare that one of you will be dissatisfied while the other is completely happy. Even if you like things the way they are, how do you feel about your partner’s dissatisfaction with your sex life? Does this issue feel like a relationship “deal breaker,” something that will have to be fixed or it will destroy your relationship? Does this feel like something that is less important to you than finding compromise on raising kids, or work or family? If you find out that your partner prioritizes sex differently than you, are you willing to compromise to stay in the relationship?
Describe Your Sex Drive
Your interest in sex is connected to many parts of your life. Have you taken the time to think about how your own history and your current life have influenced your interest in sex? One way to explore this for yourself is to write out your sexual history. This may not be something you share with your partner, but having a better understanding of your sexual desire can help you take responsibility when talking with a partner.
When Talking Won’t Do, Write a Letter
Don’t worry about floral language or grammar. Writing down what you want to talk about is a great step to clarify your issues for yourself and practice the way you might communicate it to your partner. Some people actually write their partner a letter, and end up giving it to them at a later point. Letter writing can be a powerful way to communicate your thoughts and feelings, and if done along with talking it can increase intimacy in a relationship in surprising ways.
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